Some of you are wondering why I haven’t kept up with that whole “I’m going to write a post every day for a year and then buy myself some whiskey and a facelift” thing, and others of you don’t. But as they say, decisions are made by those who show up for a nice five-day nap, and having just finished mine I’d like to test that theory by paying a visit to my good friend the weasel.
Weasel Ornament (Photo credit: nickoneill)
Did you know that in ancient Macedonia, women who suffered from headaches after having washed their heads in water drawn overnight would assume that a weasel had previously used the water as a mirror but would refrain from mentioning the animal’s name for fear that it would destroy their clothes? Of course you did. Now what were we talking about?
A group of weasels is called a confusion! I think.
Oh yes. Top 10 Excuses for Not Finishing Stuff That
- When I said I’d write a post every day, I meant every day on Pluto, which as we all know no longer exists.
- Took me longer than I expected to remember the name of that Pokemon that looks like a clam.
- Was possessed by Satan for a few days after eating a piece of toast.
- 12 to 18 with time off for good behavior.
- Turns out there really is a drain monster. And he’s SINGLE!
- Thinking gives you wrinkles, honey. Now where’s mommy’s can of wine?
- Well, you get the point.
If you were a weasel (and who’s to say you’re not?) or had to “fly with a baby comfortably” like the lady on the iDRINK recipe page, it would take you no time at all to say to hell with it and mix up a few of these for you and your fellow confusion-mates.
Bleeding Weasel Cocktail
Ingredients:
Vodka
Rum
Gin
Tequila
Triple sec
Brandy
Coconut rum
Beer
Juice (optional)
Directions:
- I think we both know that you know what to do, don’t we?
Well, as far as I’m concerned, this has been the best day ever to fly comfortably with a confusion of headache-inducing baby weasels. I hope you agree that it’s been worth the wait.
Tomorrow: Maybe, maybe not.
This is day 15 of the “Race to Cure Crankiness” post-a-day challenge. I have earned −$2.05 toward a facelift & bottle of whiskey.
