Some of you are wondering why I haven’t kept up with that whole “I’m going to write a post every day for a year and then buy myself some whiskey and a facelift” thing, and others of you don’t. But as they say, decisions are made by those who show up for a nice five-day nap, and having just finished mine I’d like to test that theory by paying a visit to my good friend the weasel.
Did you know that in ancient Macedonia, women who suffered from headaches after having washed their heads in water drawn overnight would assume that a weasel had previously used the water as a mirror but would refrain from mentioning the animal’s name for fear that it would destroy their clothes? Of course you did. Now what were we talking about?
Oh yes. Top 10 Excuses for Not Finishing Stuff That
- When I said I’d write a post every day, I meant every day on Pluto, which as we all know no longer exists.
- Took me longer than I expected to remember the name of that Pokemon that looks like a clam.
- Was possessed by Satan for a few days after eating a piece of toast.
- 12 to 18 with time off for good behavior.
- Turns out there really is a drain monster. And he’s SINGLE!
- Thinking gives you wrinkles, honey. Now where’s mommy’s can of wine?
- Well, you get the point.
If you were a weasel (and who’s to say you’re not?) or had to “fly with a baby comfortably” like the lady on the iDRINK recipe page, it would take you no time at all to say to hell with it and mix up a few of these for you and your fellow confusion-mates.
Bleeding Weasel Cocktail
- I think we both know that you know what to do, don’t we?
Well, as far as I’m concerned, this has been the best day ever to fly comfortably with a confusion of headache-inducing baby weasels. I hope you agree that it’s been worth the wait.
Tomorrow: Maybe, maybe not.
This is day 15 of the “Race to Cure Crankiness” post-a-day challenge. I have earned −$2.05 toward a facelift & bottle of whiskey.